Brighter Than Diamonds

The kids put their money together and bought us a photography session for our Twenty fifth anniversary. It rained that day, but we decided to make the best of it anyway. In this picture, he is saying something inappropriate, and I was nervously laughing hoping the photographer wouldn’t hear him. He on the other hand was doing it in hopes the photographer would hear. I swear, it was his favorite thing to do! To make me uncomfortable and watch me nervously giggle as I tried to “shush” him in hopes they wouldn’t hear what he said.

I wanted to share this picture because it shows the ring he bought me for our anniversary that year. What I really wish I had was a picture of my little engagement ring and wedding band that he bought me with the only money he had when he was eighteen years old and hadn’t even graduated high school yet. His dad felt strongly that Rick had his whole life to work, so they did not expect him to get a job at a youthful age. Instead, he wanted Rick to enjoy his young life, playing baseball and being a simple country kid before life forced him to work until retirement. That being said, he decided to use the only money he had at the time:

His graduation money.

It feels like a lifetime ago. That I happily stared at the teeny, tiny diamond beaming with excitement. It didn’t matter to me that it was a tiny speck of a diamond. I cherished my little ring, and I loved it even more because of the sweet story behind it.

Rick and I got pregnant when I was sixteen. I had been a cheerleader since junior high and aspired to be a Varsity cheerleader, too. Being pregnant meant my cheerleading days were obviously over along with my dream to be an Obstetrician. (Or so I thought). Life is life. We make choices as young people that would have been completely different if faced with the same choice as adults, but it is what it is. Instead of realizing our dreams of cheerleading and baseball, we both rose to the occasion as scared, young country kids and decided to raise our baby together. And somehow,  we raised some pretty awesome human beings.

I was seven months pregnant when tryouts for Varsity cheerleading rolled around. I was sad the entire day – I already “knew” who was good enough to make it and who wasn’t. When Rick got home from school, he was late. I was pissed that he took so long to get home and I let him know it! He didn’t give me a reason, only his cocky, crooked grin and a quick apology. Before he went outside to shoot some hoops, he showed me the names of those who made the cheerleading squad that he had carefully written down on a scrap of paper. He knew I would want to know every one of the girls who made it. Most of them I had known since my Bonner grade school days. I felt my lip quiver with sheer disappointment that I never had a chance to be on that list because I was having a baby instead. I tried to hold back my tears of disappointment while I tried to convince myself that I didn’t care. It was “just” cheerleading, and to most it wasn’t even a “real” sport. The truth was, I DID care. It did matter.

I failed miserably at my attempts to be stoic and “suck it up” when I finally burst into tears throwing my arms around Rick’s neck and sobbed. I was so disappointed in myself, and I knew without a doubt my name would have been on that list had I not been so careless and got pregnant. While my bitter tears fell, Rick lifted my chin to look into my eyes. He wiped my tears away carefully with his fingers. I looked back into his blue eyes that sparkled with love for me. I think I have shared it often enough that it is no surprise. This day was no exception.

Without warning, he picked up my left hand and placed a ring that I had never seen before on my ring finger! My mouth hung agape as I stared at the tiny diamond ring on my left hand that fit perfectly. How did he know my size and better yet how did he know it was just the style I dreamed about? He explained that it had a matching wedding band for both of us that we could buy later. I instantly fell in love with it. It was perfect for me, and I adored him for it!

I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face, I was over the moon in love with this boy, we were having a baby and somehow he managed to buy me a beautiful engagement ring. Once the shock wore off, I started bombarding him with questions. My biggest one being, was HOW? I told him, “You don’t have a job, you play baseball and go to school. How could you afford this, Richard?”

At first, he didn’t want to tell me. However, I was very persuasive, and he finally had to admit the truth. Reluctantly, he told me he used some of his graduation money he got from family and friends. I wondered how some of them would feel about that. He added that he knew how upset I would be with cheerleading tryouts, so he ran to the mall after school to try and find an engagement ring for me. He knew it was the only thing that would ease the sting of not being a Varsity cheerleader. This made me tear up for a second time over his sweet, selfless gesture.

He knew me so well and was so right. That began his legacy of a string of little things he did to bring a smile or a little joy to our lives.

For our whole life together, he did those “little” things that somehow over time, turned into “big” things. He bought me an anniversary ring when we had been married ten years, I wore it on my right hand because I wasn’t ready to part with my little ring. It was still my most cherished possession. Finally, twenty-five years in, I agreed to consider a new wedding ring set. He was so freaking excited. He went to the jeweler ahead of me and picked out the biggest, flashiest diamond wedding set that he could find. He chose three sets, so that I could pick out my favorite.

However, my tastes were simpler, and the rings he chose were a bit much for my taste. We went to the jeweler and while I admit the rings were stunning, they were over the top and he knew me well enough to see it without me even saying a word. Even though I’m sure he was disappointed when he saw my hesitation, he agreed that picking one out together might be fun. I’m proud of him for attempting to be a good sport, but in turn, he didn’t “like” my choice of rings. We were at a stalemate. I could see how much it mattered to him for me to pick one of the ones he picked out on his own, gaudy be damned. So, I went back, and  I picked out the simplest ring out of the three he chose. It was the one with the least diamonds. Unfortunately, it still wasn’t enough for him. As he begged me to get the flashier ring, I laughed at the fact that many women would love to have this sort of dilemma. It’s almost embarrassing, but there very rarely was a time when Rick had a strong opinion about something. And he never pushed until he got his way, not like I did. This was one of those times and honestly it was a bit surprising. While I know this whole scenario seems so odd, it really was important to him that I get a big, beautiful diamond ring. And what girl doesn’t want a flashy ring from the love of her life?

I asked him why he wanted me to get the flashy ring. His reason? He wanted people to see my huge ring and think, “Wow! Her man must really love her!”

Ridiculous, I know!

I chose the flashiest ring, and he was positively beaming with pride. And if I’m honest it was a beautiful ring, but I would have been happy to keep my simple ring he bought me with his graduation money all those years ago.

I wish he had known that it wasn’t the ring that made people see how much he loved me!

It was in everything he did for me during our life together. Every pot of coffee, every remodeling project. The love was apparent in his voice, not only the things he said to me, but the way in which he said them. The love sparkled in his eyes when I walked into the room, and I’ve heard it was evident even when he was simply talking about me when I wasn’t there. It was in his daily texts checking in on me, in the thoughtful gifts, in his thank you’s and I love you’s. It was in the dozens of shoes he bought me anytime I mentioned someone’s cute shoes. His love for me was in the ways he showed his appreciation for what I did for our family every day. The love was in all of the ways he lovingly encouraged me, how he hated to see me cry, how he protected me from being hurt anytime he could. His love was apparent in the ways that he showed me he absolutely knew without a doubt in his mind that I could do anything I set my mind to.

No, it wasn’t the diamond on my finger that made people notice how much he loved me.

It was the way his blue eyes sparkled with love for me. They shined brighter than any diamond ever could.